


Danganronpa 3 Future Arc: Discord Danganronpa Hype Group Edition: Prolouge

by RoboSammeh



Category: Danganronpa
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-30
Updated: 2016-07-30
Packaged: 2018-07-27 15:09:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,113
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7623514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RoboSammeh/pseuds/RoboSammeh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is basically just an abridged Danganronpa 3 Future Arc, just with my fellow shitposter friends on Discord. This is just for shits and giggles and meant for them to read.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Danganronpa 3 Future Arc: Discord Danganronpa Hype Group Edition: Prolouge

You know how most meetings that are arranged are always a certain type of meeting? For example, the most often type of meeting is a highly serious one with bright and bold ideas tossed around back and forth. And then there are the fun meetings with food and casual chatter and a real fun time. And then there's the boring meetings where barely anything is tossed around and you just wanna crack slam your head open because of how boring it is. Well...For the Danganronpa Discord Hype Group, these meetings they hold are rather...chaotic.

And by Chaotic, I mean it's like Satan is there himself. 

About 10+ people all sat around a large oval-shaped table, these people having varying ages from preteens to adults. All of these people had 2 things in common. They're were really into danganronpa, and at least 90% of them were salty as fuck. Slamming his hands down onto the table, startling everyone currently in the room and probably making Giully shit her pants like a little bitch, James spoke up in the most asshole-like voice possible.

"Before we begin the meeting, may I know where the FUCK half of the meeting went!? Cause if they aren't showing up im banning their asses." James said, sounding 10x more of an asshole than Donald Trump. Seriously, Donald trump seemed like the nicest lil fucker compared to James.

"Jeez, calm your flat ass tits James. They're probably just playing mafia or something..." Lauren responded, attempting to act cool by leaning back in her chair, only to have it tip too far back and for her to fall like an idiot. 10/10 Lauren, 10/10. "You shut up, narrator!" She yelled at seemingly nothing for she was acting crazy. Everyone quickly ignored her random outburst to avoid it going on any further.

"Uh...what does 'flat ass' mean?" The most innocent mother fucker in the room, by the name of Marie, asked, tilting her head to the side. Meghan quickly leaned over to her and pressed her index finger to Marie's lips. "Shhhhh young child, you must never know." "Why can't I kno-" "YOU MUST STAY INNOCENT." "What?-" "YOU'RE THE LAST SHRED OF INNOCENCE IN THIS GROUP."

And with that, Marie shut up like the good lil cinnamon roll she was. Unfortunately, another fuccboi by the name of Robin wasn't so silent. "Im betting Allycats and Nico are yiffing one another or something like the furries that they are." Robin sneered, only to realize that AllyCats and Nico were in the room. The two then proceeded to drag him out of the room, and all that people could hear coming from outside the room were the horrible screams of the damned and the occasional "YOU KINKSHAMING FUCK" here and there in the midst of the beating.

"Holy shit Robin screams like a bitch." Kio and Kyo said in unison, only to turn to each other and snap their fingers and go 'Ayyyy' multiple times, almost to an obnoxious level. Meanwhile, Beki spoke up in the midst of the feminine Robin screaming in the background.  
"Hey guys, do you think Pigeons have feelings?"  
"Beki I'll give you one chance to shut the fuck up.." Was all that Qaz answered with, seemingly giving no fucks about the current situation and probably wanting a nap. 

"I can't believe Robin is fucking dead" Said Giully, only to hear Robin shout from the other room. "STOP TELLING PEOPLE IM DEAD!". "Press f to pay respects" Said Giully, and guess what? Absolutely no one in the room said the letter 'f' out loud. What a surprise.

"I have an idea how to bring in two people missing here." Said Lauren, and everyone looked on in confusion as she stood up clumsily on the table like a dipshit and silently cursed at the non-existant narrator. Clearing her throat, sounding like a frog smoking weed, she proudly proclaimed "TWOGAMI, YUTA, BANDAI, AND GOZU ARE ALL UN-NEEDED CHARACTERS!". 

Almost at the speed of Sanic the Hedgehog, a guy named Luci fell from a hole in the ceiling and dropkicked Lauren in the face, and before she could even recover, Lauren proceeded to get crushed by a nearby block of cement coming from the wall when a girl named Robot burst in. Weakly raising an arm and pointing towards the two, she mumbled "There they are..." like a weak lil bitch. Raising a middle finger to someone labeled 'the narrator', despite there being no such person, Marie calmy helped her up like the precious cinnamon roll she was.

"Could you try to call them in a calmer way please, otherwise you're all banned from the bathrooms of my building. I can't afford having my fucking building being destroyed because of you shitposting fucks." Said James, only to get cut off by Kerra. "Calm yo tits James, I got this. I know how to get Thomes and Pix in here, at least. Ahem...". Cupping her hands around her mouth like Lauren, just 10x more regal, Kerra suddenly shouted "SOULJA BOY UP IN THAT HOE!" at the top of her lungs.

Two figures then burst into the meeting room, screaming "WATCH ME CRACK IT WATCH ME ROLL" whilst dabbing like the meme loving fucks they were. Taking their seats, attempting to look like badasses, Robin quickly ran into the room and hid behind Marie with Nico and Allycats on his tail. "I GOT PROTECTION, FUCK OFF." Shouted Robin, only for EyyLmao to appear in the doorway like a fucking genie. "I HAVE BEEN CALLED FORTH WITH THE NEED TO USE 'THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID' TO SOMETHING SOMEONE HAS SAID."

"Alright, so we got them down. Now all we need is...Pyro, AllyB, Jasmin, Maria, and Skittle. Can someone go get them? Otherwise, i'll toss you fuckers into the ocean I swear to fucking god." Said James, eating a random apple so that he could look like even more of an asshole, ignoring the chaotic hellspawns around him destroying the meeting room. "On it!" Said Kerra, pulling out a huge ass body bag and a spiked baseball bat. No one questioned why she had said objects because some of these people actually valued their life. Because of this, the final last 5 bitches were in the meeting room within minutes, Pyro and Ally struggling about in the bodybag and shouting obscenities while the other three stood there awkwardly like they were giving a presentation to an asshole teacher by the name of 'Mr.James'. 

"Sorry, we got lost." Said Jasmin, an apologetic smile on her face that gives off the loving and despairful feeling that you know she's going to die. Don't deny it, we all know this shit. "Wait, no we weren't. Weren't we getting off to p-" Said Pyro, who was now out of the body bag, only to have AllyB cover her mouth with her hand. "NOPE, WE GOT LOST." Shouted AllyB, giving Pyro a shit-eating glare that practically spells 'im gonna shove a log up your ass if you tell them' when she did so. Pyro quickly shut up like an obedient little bitch. Meanwhile, Maria calmly sat in Meghan's lap for whatever reason, probably a prostitution offer, as Skittle high fives Marie, the make-shift innocent shield being carried around and used by Robin so that he could live longer like the pussy he was.

With all the hell happening around the room and the wall and ceiling broken, as well as the door nearly knocked off it's hinges, James let out an asshole-like sigh and said "You guys drive me to drink...", before pulling out a windex bottle and chugging the contents. 

"GODDAMMIT WHICH ONE OF YOU FUCKERS REPLACED MY WINDEX BLEACH WITH GATORADE!?"

~MEANWHILE, OUTSIDE THE DICK SHAPED BUILDING KNOWN AS JAMES HQ, ON THE BALCONY~

"Leon, pass the blunt you fuck!" Shouted Joey, attempting to tackle a half-high Leon who kept inhaling weed. "Im not high yet, though!" said Leon, tripping over his own feet as Joey tried to forcefully pull the blunt out of his hands. All the while this weed-battle took place, a high as fuck Koro stood near the balcony wall with their eyes squinted. In the distance, a helicopter flew towards the island the building stood on, and Koro let out a mumble.  
"Heyyyy...guyss...am I too high right now or is that a helicopter???"

Letting go of the blunt, leaving Joey to fall on his ass, Leon staggered over like a drunkard and responded with "Duuuuuuuude i think that is a helicopter...or a really huge mosquito...or a humming bird or something..." Said Leon in a stereotypical 'high on weed' voice.

"Duuuuudes, 10 bucks the helicopter shoots at us..."  
"You're...so on biiitch..."

10 seconds later, a super mario bullet bill was shot at the dick-shaped building. Ignoring the intense shaking taking place, Joey held out his hand in a 'pay up' motion. "Fuck that" said Leon as he leaped over the railing and fell into the ocean. Looking down at the ground, Joey picked up Leon's hello kitty wallet and went "Sweet, free cash" as he pulled out a few receipts from hot topic because of how high he was.

~MEANWHILE INSIDE ASSHOLE INCORPORATED~

"JESUS CHRIST IS SOMEONE SHITTING!?"  
"I THOUGHT I BANNED YOU FUCKERS FROM THE BATHROOM"  
"SHUT THE FUCK UP JAMES AND SHOVE THAT APPLE UP YOUR ASS"  
"I WOULD, CONSIDERING IT'S BIGGER THAN YOUR DICK ROBIN"  
"OOOOH, BURN!"

Lauren quickly took action and, whilst attempting to not fall on her flat ass, quickly tried to calm down the chaos that had doubled, considering everyone was acting like it's the end of the world. Seriously, she had to stop Maria from stripping and fucking Meghan otherwise poor innocent Marie would get scarred for life, and everyone's trying to delay that from happening.  
"EVERYONE CALM YOUR FUCKING TITS. MAYBE THIS IS JUST AN EARTHQUAKE...RIGHT JAMES?"  
"..."  
"JAMES YOU FUCKER-"  
"I DIDN'T THINK WE WOULD BE FOUND IN THIS SECLUDED ISLAND, SOMEONE'S TRYING TO INCLUDE THEMSELVES IN OUR DANGANRONPA SHITPOSTING."  
"OH, GEE, I WONDER HOW THEY FOUND THE DICK SHAPED SHINING BEACON OF A TOWER IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FUCKING BARREN SEA!"  
"LAUREN I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL BAN YOUR ASS"  
"WELL AT LEAST MY ASS IS BIGGER THAN YOUR FLAT ASS."  
"LAUREN YOU FUCKING WHORE"  
"SAYS THE SHSL ASSHOLE"  
"SOMEONE HAND ME A CHAIR IM READY TO BASH THIS RATCHET SLUT'S HEAD IN"  
"FIGHT ME JAMES-"

Suddenly, everyone automatically grew silent for convenience and suspense like any stereotypical anime, when a black and white ball fell onto the ground, suddenly releasing a toxic gas, slowly knocking everyone out. If it weren't for the sleeping gas, some random fuccboi would probably have made a joke about balls, so everyone was slightly thankful for that shit not happening. About 15 minutes later in irl time, everyone woke up complaining like little bitches about wanting more sleep like the relatable shit-heads they were. And then, everyone heard that familiar annoying-as-fuck laughter.

"Upupupu..."

Lauren's eyes snapped open as fast as a preteen boy seeing a porn collection for the first time, and she was the first to speak when Monokuma popped on the screen.  
"OH FOR FUCKS SAKE."  
"Ayy, hello you fucks! It's me, monokuma, here to fuck all of you over. So, you guys don't feel any despair because you're shitposting lil dickwads, so thanks to James the fuccboi over here, he got you all together. So basically, you're all fucked. You know how this shit goes. There's a killer you gotta find and you gotta reveal the mastermind as well or some shit. Also, you got stupid ass fucking actions you can't do, so lol. Bye fuckers. Lol despair."

And like a shart in the wind, Monokuma was gone. Everyone merely stood in absolute silence, except for Qaz who was still asleep cause he still didn't give a fuck about everything. Lauren gasped, and looked over at Asshole mcgee-I mean...James.  
"James, don't you realize it?"  
"Realize what? That we're royally fucked for whatever reason because we all mentioned at one point in our lives how we have a death wish?"  
"No...can't you see? I've been one of the people who talked the most, i've been harmed the most, my name was said the most..."  
"...Okay, but where the fuck are you going with this Lauren-"

Lauren swiftly and dramatically made eye contact with James, flipping her fabulous hair in the process, before looking him straight in the eye with as much seriousness she could muster. She basically looked like an anxious satan at the moment.  
"IM THE FUCKING MAIN CHARACTER JAMES."

~TO BE CONTINUED~


End file.
